Poker Magazine

Wicked Chops Poker

Depending on when you get this issue, you’re either about to celebrate 2008 or are recuperating from a New Year’s hangover.

And if you’re a reader of wickedchopspoker. com, you know we take a lot of pride in the fact that we have made a large number of legitimately uncanny predictions.

So in our 2006 year-end Bluff column, we laid out our predictions for 2007… many of which, surprisingly, did not come true. It was like we were Barry Pepper’s character at the end of Saving Private Ryan. Yeah, everyone knows we have the best shot around and we made a few hits, but we were just missing the mark over and over again.

For example, one of our predictions was that Chris Moneymaker would have a resurgence of sorts in 2007 and, while he had some respectable cashes in major events, he just missed that big breakthrough win that we thought he would have.

We also predicted that Anna Benson would have us over for dinner and a little poker game, if you know what we mean. That didn’t even remotely happen. In fact, we totally forgot that chick existed (and hated us) until we reread last year’s column.

It looks like the only predictions in last year’s column that we were more or less right about was that Lucky You would finally hit the theaters (although anyone who saw it wishes it hadn’t), and Keeley Hazell would once again be the official Wicked Chops Poker girl of the year.

So with that exposition out of the way, here are our Official Wicked Chops Poker Predictions for 2008.

:: Daniel Negreanu Will Have a Monster Year. Aside from his freakish ability to read people’s hands, the other characteristic/trait that most stands out about Daniel Negreanu is his fluctuating desire and motivation for the game of poker. But it seems like every even year, he’s on, and we have a feeling that Daniel will dominate again in 2008.

:: Jerry Yang, It Was Nice Knowing Ya. Has there ever been a more anonymous WSOP champ than Jerry Yang? After ESPN does their obligatory Day 1 coverage of him for the 2008 Main Event (if he even plays), we predict that’ll pretty much be the last time you hear from him.

:: Chicks Will Continue To Prove Us Wrong. We jokingly have a lot of fun about how the “end of the world is near” every time a woman does well, or, in Annette Obrestad’s case, wins a major event. And while it kills us to admit that woman are actually really, really skilled in things that don’t involve detergent, pots, pans, or toilet brushes, we do admit it; and there are more great female poker players now than ever before. From Lacey Jones to Michele Lewis to Brandi Hawbaker, many of them are super hot, too, which is a great thing for our sport.

:: U.S. Americans Will Still Play Lots of Online Poker. If you read our book Three Basic Rules When Making Predictions, then you know there are three basic rules when making predictions: 1) Try to analyze past trends when identifying potential future events, 2) Get super high or drunk before you make your predictions, and 3) Never make predictions about politics. Number three is just too hard. Idiot politicians and the idiots who elect them are all fickle morons, so what could seem like a spot-on prediction one day is completely irrelevant the next. One thing we do know, though, is people still love playing online poker, and whether or not current lobbying efforts get poker a carve-out from the UIGEA will not impact people playing online.

:: Get Off the Schneid, Moneymaker. We’re going to keep predicting Moneymaker has a huge year until that f*cker actually does.

:: Iran So Far Away. Shawn Sheikhan is not going to be deported due to sexual assault charges from 1995 that for some reason the government is just now getting around to considering giving him the boot. It’s just not going to happen. Whether or not you readers personally would like to see it happen is another matter, but Sheiky is staying put.

:: Temp Hutter, Back and Bad as Ever! Temp Hutter, who is the namesake and founder of the Temp Hutter Club (a group consisting of dudes who were on TV a lot during the early rise of the game, then falling off never to be heard from again), is due for a 2007 Moneymaker-esque comeback. And while Hutter is at it, we predict the same resurgence from Chris Karagulleyan, Tomer Benvisitsi, Mattias Andersson, Tom Sartori, and Brad Kondracki.

:: Official 2007 Wicked Chops Poker Girl of the Year, Keeley Hazell, Will Go Topless in Some Photos. Hey, we need at least one gimme in case we get all of the above wrong…