Wicked Chops Poker
With the 2009 World Series of Poker in full swing, we’re seeing once again that while capturing a bracelet is defi nitely part skill (just look at the impressive list of winners from last year, which includes Daniel Negreanu, Erick Lindgren, Barry Greenstein, Mike Matusow, and Scotty Nguyen, to name a few…), in these massive fi elds today, it’s also a large part luck. You need to win your races, not get sucked out on, and have good timing so your big hands get paid off.
And this all got us thinking, in poker, in general, who is the luckiest person? Or more specifi cally, whose combination of a good run of cards (for a tournament or two) has yielded the least overall success at the tables but the most monetary return away from the tables?
By these standards, someone like Jamie Gold, who many have argued had the luckiest WSOP Main Event run of cards ever (we actually completely disagree, as he pwned the Main Event for fi ve days), is eliminated from consideration since he hasn’t really monetized that success over the past three years.
We also considered adding people like Paul Phillips and Joe Bartholdi to the list. They made a bundle in a short amount of time and got out of the game before they ever actually went bust. However, we decided that they aren’t so much lucky as they are smart. After you read this list, visit WickedChopsPoker. com, where we expand on it and include the luckiest people in the world right now (and yes, a few from the below group make that list too).
5) Patrik Antonius – No one is going to question Patrik Antonius’ online poker bonafi des. The dude is the real deal online, crushing cash games for years. However, you don’t get on Team Full Tilt because you’re a stud online. Just ask Tom “durrrr” Dwan.
However, you also don’t typically get on Team Full Tilt with just $2.5 million in live tournament earnings and a smattering of TV appearances. That is unless, of course, you’re Patrik Antonius.
We get it. Tournament poker bores him. It isn’t worth his time. And if Antonius looked like, well, durrrr, then he’d be drawing absolutely dead in landing a huge sponsorship deal.
Fortunately for Patrik, he’s so good looking that grown men on at least one poker forum (2+2) unabashedly drool over him on a regular basis. He’s so good looking that it’s actually okay for guys like us to say, “Damn, that guy is good looking,” without anyone retorting back, “Wow, you guys are gay.” Patrik Antonius is one lucky dude.
4) Evelyn Ng – Who doesn’t love Evy Ng? She’s cute, sweet, and kicks ass at Guitar Hero. But her biggest live tournament cash ever is for about $73,000. Despite this, she’s banked a solid sponsorship deal with Bodog. Don’t get us wrong, being an attractive girl who is sweet and kicks ass at Guitar Hero deserves some sort of monetary reward. Maybe even a Nobel Prize. That’s a rare combination of traits. But that doesn’t diminish the fact that she’s one of the luckiest people in poker.
3) Phil Gordon – We’ll put forth the argument that Phil Gordon is actually the most accomplished player on this list. He fi nal tabled the 2001 WSOP Main Event. He won a 2004 WPT title. He has fi nal tabled a number of other WSOP and Circuit events. However, Gordon was smart enough to parlay his $1.1 million in tournament earnings into TV gigs like hosting Bravo’s Celebrity Poker Showdown, writing books, and starring in a really underrated instructional DVD from Expert Insight. Not to mention he was an early Team Full Tilt pro. So he probably uses hundred dollar bills as toilet paper.
2) Phil Laak – Has anyone ever gotten more exposure from a freeroll than Phil Laak? Laak skyrocketed to poker fame by winning the WPT Invitational for $100,000. Since then he’s made two WSOP fi nal tables and one WPT TV table, banking a total of just over $800,000. While Laak hasn’t done much in the sponsorship realm, he managed to snag possibly the hottest 50-year-old out there, Jennifer Tilly. Aside from being a super-hot 50-year-old, the running joke is that Tilly (through her divorce of The Simpsons co-creator and poker player Sam Simon) owns 25% of The Simpsons. While we’re sure that’s a bit of an exaggeration, it’s not like Tilly is hurting for cash, which means as long as he’s with her, Laak probably won’t be either.
1) Chris Moneymaker – Chris Moneymaker epitomizes the phrase, “It’s all about timing.” That is a phrase, right?
Moneymaker had an insanely good run of cards, an absolutely perfect last name, and an even better back story (winning his WSOP buy-in on PokerStars for $39). As a result, for the most part, he’ll never have to worry about cash again. He’s the iconic fi gure of poker’s boom. And for that, he got a juicy sponsorship deal with PokerStars that pays him well beyond what his tournament success since the 2003 WSOP Main Event would necessarily justify. Because of this, we found it funny that when Moneymaker played Daniel Negreanu at the 2009 NBC National Heads-Up Poker Championship, and the two were all in and in a race situation, he actually had the gall to complain that he never gets “lucky” and wins “hands like this.” Moneymaker, Moneymaker, Moneymaker. You wouldn’t be playing in the 2009 NBC National Heads-Up Poker Championship had you not won countless races and hit two-outers in 2003 at the WSOP. And had the perfect last name. And back story. At the absolute most perfect time.
And for that, without a doubt, Chris Moneymaker is the luckiest person in all of poker.
