Wicked Chops Poker

February in Wicked Chops Poker land is all about feeling the love. We believe it’s important to be kind, nice, and cuddly for at least one month a year. If we didn’t, we seriously wouldn’t have a redeeming quality among us.

And February is an obvious choice for our month of spreading joy and good tidings. Not necessarily because Valentine’s Day is in February, but because February is the shortest month in the year. And being nice is exhausting. And boring.

So as Wicked Chops Poker Entity, the Addict, likes to say (quoting Christian Slater in Kuffs), “Hugs and kisses to all your pink parts.” Let the love begin!

First and foremost, any list of “Beautiful Girls in Poker” would naturally start with our current/first wives. However, since only one of them, Lady Chops, actually plays poker, we are almost forced to leave them off the list. And by “almost forced” we mean we actually totally forgot to even mention them until our fourth draft of this article when they were standing behind our shoulder and asked why they weren’t mentioned.

When reading this list, keep in mind the following maxim: Beauty is only skin deep. We ask you to keep this in mind because we have no idea what it really means. So we’ll just go with the assumption that it means that the more beautiful the person, the better the person she is.

Please note this list is in no particular order of beauty.

1. Evelyn Ng:Under our interpretation of “Beauty is only skin deep,” Evelyn is a really, really good person. Seriously, one of the best around. Sure she needs to start banking some tournament cashes, but we’ll let it slide since she’s such a great person.

2. Clonie Gowen:Back when really hot girls didn’t play poker (so like three years ago), Clonie nearly stood alone as one of the beautiful girls in the game. Nowadays, you can barely flick a chip without hitting a poker babe. Catholic high school girl lacrosse teams don’t have as many hot girls per capita as poker does now. But back in the day (three years ago), the majority of girls in the game looked something like Donna Shalala or the momma from Throw Momma from the Train. Not fun.

3. Liz Lieu:So cute, yet so sexy. It’s such a difficult combo to pull off. We’ve tried it, but we usually come off as just sexy.

4. Lacey Jones:A Friend of Wicked Chops Poker (FOWCP), the beautiful Lacey is also one of the coolest girls on the circuit. Think Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction sans needle in chest.

5. Patrik Antonius:Can a dude be so dreamy that he can cross over to a list of just females? Apparently the answer to that is “Yes.” Possibly one of the few guys who our current/first wives could say, “Honey, I’m sorry I just cheated on you with Patrik Antonius,” and we’d say, “Oh, ok. That’s cool. Understandable. Don’t let it happen again. But if it does, totally understandable.”

6. Joanna Krupa:Joanna isn’t so much a “poker player” as she’s a “model who is sponsored by a poker site and happened to play at the 2006 WSOP Main Event,” but we here at Wicked Chops Poker are not in the business of splitting hairs. And Joanna Krupa sure did look beautiful holding those hole cards at the Main Event. Then again, Joanna Krupa would look beautiful holding two turds while her arms were on fire.

We lived at the RIO for the past two WSOP Main Events. And during this time, we’ve seen some unbelievable play…and unbelievably bad play. Any other month of the year, we’d begin some long-winded rant on the bad play and the players who play badly. However, as stated, we’re all about feeling the love this month. So here are some of our favorite pros that we recommend sweating if you ever get the chance.

It is almost cliché to point out the greatness of Ivey. But we experienced it first hand. Dumb luck once placed Ivey and us Entities back-to-back at the 2005 WSOP Main Event. It was towards the end of Day 2, and as we were wrapping up our blog on the day’s action, we turned around and noticed Ivey taking a seat. Then we noticed we could see all of Ivey’s hole cards. For the next two hours we experienced a clinic in power poker that was only equaled by the clinic in power blogging that Ivey witnessed from us. (We totally made up the last part of the previous sentence.)

Negreanu is a mainstay at the top of our Power Player Index for a reason: He has a sick ability to read people, make the right call, and keep the table entertaining. It’s a rare gift when you can make people feel good and have fun while taking their money. Daniel Negreanu is kind of like a hooker in this way. What a slut!

Something must be in the water up in Canada ’cause they produce some likable lugs up there. Oh yeah, that something in the water is called “beer.” And Gavin is never one to shy away from a cold one at the table. Not that it affects his play in a bad way. The 2005 WPT Player of the Year keeps the laughs coming with each new round, and keeps scooping pots with each new level.

Understated and unflappable, Huck Seed is the exact opposite of us. But his cool, calculated game is something to be admired. For a more cerebral approach to the game, watch Seed in action.

Thank God February is the shortest month of the year. Can’t…type…anything…else…nice.