The new generation
It is March 15th, 2006. Two thousand and six! Are you kidding me? My, oh my, where did the time go? Do you remember when you were a little kid and all the adults always told you to enjoy life while you could because it goes by so fast? It’s gone before you know it, they said.
Just the other day, I caught myself telling my little cousin that very same thing and I realized that when she is my age, I will be nearly half a century old.
I don’t really know where I was going with that, I just thought it sounded good and, at the moment, I am in one of my weird philosophical think-about-life moods. You ever just think about what we are REALLY doing here? How it wouldn’t change the course of life on earth one bit if we were to disappear? That we really don’t make a difference? Nothing can stop the earth from turning. It’s so sick to think that one day we ALL will go. I don’t want to go anywhere! And I certainly don’t want to get any older. I am, for sure, the happiest 27-year-old on the planet!
Ever since I got back from Australia, all I can think about is when I’m going back. I miss it dearly. I miss the people. I miss the food. I miss the weather. I miss Sydney.
And most of all, I miss the action!
The Aussie Millions at Crown in January was the BESTstructured tournament I have ever played in. It was NEVER more than eight-handed and, once we got in the money, it was six-handed the rest of the way. What else can an action junkie like me ask for? It’s all about more hands! The more hands, the more fun, the more DINERO!
Speaking of playing more hands, after a long day of golf (btw, thanks to Danny McDonagh Tournament Director and Jim Preston Poker Room Manager at Crown for the golf), we returned to the Crown Casino in Melbourne. I was a wee bit tipsy; I think I only played a total of 3 of the 18 holes! On the bus back, there was some talk about this new fully-automated live poker table thing. The poker room guys at the Crown had set up a single table tournament on this new poker table. Mike Sexton, Kenna James, Clonie Gowen, and Scott Fischman were gonna play, so I decided to climb aboard.
Let me also add that when internet poker first came out, I was very skeptical of the whole idea; not so much about the possibility of people sitting at home cheating, but about the idea of technology taking over poker. I did not like the idea of people playing on their computers. I thought it detracted from the actual game. It took me almost a year to try it, but once I did, I fell in love with it! I mean, what’s better than playing poker in your underwear?
When I heard there was a new table out with no dealer and computer screens instead of cards, I was hesitant. But it didn’t take long before that thought went right out the window.
Let me cut right to the chase. This table, which is called PokerPro™, IS THE FUTURE OF POKER. In my humble (or not so humble) opinion, these tables will soon become part of every poker room on earth. You WILL play on them. And you will experience great pleasure and satisfaction.
With the PokerPro table there will never be another dealer error. And I mean NEVER. No misread hands, accidentally flipped cards, and so on. That’s because the table is the dealer. It splits the pots – even the side pots – accurately and instantly. And you don’t have to tip anyone!
This feature alone saves the average pro, playing 50 hours a week, roughly $1,600 a month! (I know this sounds crazy, but if you add up an average tip of $2 a hand after a 10-hour session, and you’re winning one out of every nine hands, playing five days a week, your tips run up to $1,600 a month and $19,200 a year!)
And the PokerPro table keeps the game moving. So you get to play 50% to 60% more hands per hour. How sweet would it be to play one-and-a-half times as many hands an hour! After all, you are there to play as much as you can, right?
Another cool feature is that you actually squeeze your cards to look at them! Let me explain. When you want to look at your hand, you just place your hands over the bottom right hand side of the screen and your two cards actually squeeze up at you! It’s really cool. I urge everyone to try it.
Overall, I was very impressed with this revolutionary new technology. I never felt like I was playing on a computer. PokerPro is the real deal, baby!
Experiencing the PokerPro table and being a part of the future was just one of the many perks of my visit to Australia. I already went into detail about all the good things that happened to me in Australia last month, so I will spare you the repeat.
But before I go, I would like to tell you all what a sick man I am. I was in LA with Victoria for the Commerce Tournament. Joe Hachem kept begging me to take a day off and go to lunch with him and his family. I said no to EVERYBODY. But saying no to Joe is not easy. Those Middle Easterners can be rather pushy! We had lunch at the Galleria Mall at a fancy Italian joint. Afterwards, we started wandering around and came upon this fountain. This was an outside mall and tourists were all over the place. Victoria slapped my ass out of nowhere and, to retaliate, I picked her up and threatened to throw her ass in the fountain. All the tourists started chanting me on: “Throw her in! Throw her in!” Joe said, “I’ll give you $500 to throw her in!” I told him for $500 he could throw my ass in! Right away, he pulls out $1,000 and says, “If you both get in, the money is yours.” Only requirement is that we go in with our clothes ON! Thank God we were at a mall and finding dry clothes afterwards wasn’t going to be a difficult task. And so in we went. Right in the middle of the mall, in front of a hundred tourists taking pictures, Victoria and I dived into the fountain! It truly was a sight to see. The things that people do for money! I really need to get a life. In any case, thank you for the dime ball, Joe Hachem.
