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Two months before the main event of the WSOP, my friends were
discussing who was going to win the tournament – how that person
was doing something at that very moment and had no idea
what was about to happen to his (or her) life. The beautiful thing
about tournament poker is that someone has to win. This person
would have a horseshoe stuck so far up his (or her) ass and not
even know it. This year, that person was Joseph Hachem.
I met Joe at the Borgata not long after he had won. We played
a lot of cards and had a lot of laughs at the table. For those of you who have
not had the pleasure of meeting Joe, believe me when I tell you he is genuinely
a great guy. Since then, we have become pretty good friends, and
one of the perks of being friends with the guy is sampling his wife’s cooking.
The woman can COOK! Joe had luck on his side when he won the
WSOP, but was even luckier to find a woman like Jeanie.
There was a big poker tournament coming up in Australia. Joe, an
Aussie, told me that I had to go. Australia has always been somewhere
I wanted to visit, but there were a number of major tournaments in
January I did not want to miss. And if I was going all the way to
Australia, I was going to stay for at least a couple of weeks. After
some thought and deliberation and a great deal from the people at
Crown, we were going Down Under!
I flew down with Kevin (Uncle Kev) and the lovely Victoria. We
stopped off in Sydney for a week before arriving in Melbourne
on the 12th. Sydney was absolutely amazing. The city is so
beautiful. In a way, it was like a cleaner version of San Francisco – with A LOT more women!
Arriving in Melbourne, we were met at
the airport by Carlene from the Crown Hotel,
and my friend Nathan, a native of the city. I
met Nathan in LA about a year ago. I was out
partying and kept seeing this kid at parties
that were extremely difficult to get into. We
started chatting and soon I learned that he
was a poker player from Australia. How he
gets himself into these parties I will never
figure out. Maybe it’s the black American
Express card. I mean how does a 21-year-old
kid get a black Amex, anyway? I was superimpressed
with the Crown. It’s one of the
best hotel casinos I’ve ever been to – very
classy, yet very modern.
On our second day in Melbourne, the
casino was taking all the big players on a
golf trip. I’m no golf expert by any means;
in fact, I have never golfed a day in my life!
But everybody was going, so I couldn’t
resist. After all, they were taking us to the
most exclusive golf course in all of
Australia! I think I got spoiled that day. I’m
pretty sure that the average day of golf does
not come with 20 Australian hotties giving
shoulder massages in between holes. Golf
will never be the same.
The tournament had over 400 entries at
10K Australian a pop. Not too shabby. What
a great structure, too! The tables were
eight-handed. And when it got down to 36,
it was six-handed the rest of the way. It
doesn’t really get better than that. Thank
you to tournament director Danny
McDonagh for putting together such a fantastic
tournament.
Melbourne has great nightlife. One of the
best nights of my life took place on this trip.
I wish I could go into detail, but I probably
shouldn’t. I can only imagine the hundreds
of angry letters that would be written to the
editors. Let’s just say that one night a group
of us went out, massive amounts of booze
were drank, and Victoria and I met some
cool people. We had a crazy after party at
our suite back at the hotel. I think it was
Victoria, Noah Boeken, Nathan, David Wells
and myself, along with six or seven
Australian honeybunnies. One of them was
a girl named Francesca. She will forever
remain in my memory banks.
Throughout our entire trip to Australia,
we had a no swear bet. Anytime any one of
us said the f-word, we had to drop and do 20.
I have been trying to work on my vocabulary,
and what better way to do so? Uncle
Kev, Nathan, Joe Hachem, Noah, David Wells
and I were all in the bet. It didn’t matter
where we were or what we were doing, if we
dropped the f-bomb we had to drop and do
20. Poor Kevin must have done 900 push
ups in Australia, none of which were at the
gym; but instead at random places, like
restaurants or the airport or in the casino. It
was so funny. One time, David had to do
push ups on the sidewalk of a busy street as
people walked by and glanced over at the
weirdo doing push ups on the street. I would
say out loud, “What are you doing, man?
Have you lost your mind?”
Overall, I had an amazing trip to
Australia. If there were one place I could live
besides the U.S., it would definitely be there.
I just wish they would drive on the right side
of the street! And if you want lemonade,
you’d better not ask for lemonade, because
you’ll get a Sprite! Yes, you heard me correctly;
they call Sprite lemonade.
For all of you who like poker and have
never been to Australia, I strongly recommend
you make the trip next January. You
will not be disappointed.
Thank you again to Carlene Blake,
Kathryn Farrell, Kenna and Danny
McDonagh for making this trip one that I
will never forget, for so many reasons!
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