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Yoda (Star Wars):
A simple wave of his hand and you will be re-raising
him when he has the nuts and folding when he bluffs.
Those Jedi mind tricks would give him a huge edge. |
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Raymond Babbitt (Rain Man):
Would be able to calculate odds before you even
know what you have. Especially in 7-Card Stud where
keeping track of the cards comes into play. Plus,
it would definitely get annoying when his only bet
was “about a hundred dollars.” |
Illustrations by: Scott Padgett
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Tommy Devito (Goodfellas): Go
ahead and win a pot against him, I dare you. If
you were to outdraw this guy, he might just laugh
it off… then waste you. If you see him sit
down, you might be best suited just to excuse yourself
to the bathroom, and not come back. |
...and one you would. Any character played by
Colin Quinn
Colin Quinn has been causing a stir in the
normally serene world of celebrity poker tournaments,
by limping and calling his opponents into complete submission.
Using The Technique – a revolutionary style of
his own making that completely rewrites the rulebook
– Quinn has become an implacable force on the
celebrity poker scene. Bluff caught up with him just
before his latest tournament to find out more. Sklansky,
Brunson, Harrington – YOU’RE ALL WRONG!
Here’s why…
“I played on Celebrity Poker Showdown and won
my first game using my strategy. My strategy is…
(looks around to make sure no one’s in earshot)
I play the crummy cards. You see, it’s all about
the friggin’ flop. If I had a 10-3 and I’m
up against A-K – big deal! What if a 10-10-3 comes
out? So I always stay in until at least the flop and
I just play the bad cards. You gotta have some kind
of strategy; you might as well go against the grain.”
Fifteen minutes later, Colin busts out of his tournament.
“I don’t know what happened. I’m
stunned. The Technique failed me. I had the perfect
hand to try The Technique: 2
6.
This guy goes all in before the flop, so I’m thinking,
“Ah ha. You’ve got aces. So what? Big deal!
I’ve got 2-6. I could get a straight flush here.”
That’s The Technique in a nutshell. So I called
immediately, and I was pretty much dead, even though
I’d played the hand correctly according to The
Technique. I hate those internet players. They spend
too much time by themselves – they don’t
know how to interact with other people. They don’t
understand poker is a gentleman’s game. I was
winning before that hand and he booted me right out.”
(Storms off)
Colin on Picking up Tells
“I stink at picking up tells. I wouldn’t
even notice if a guy took a crap at the table.”
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