Keep Talking, Slick
Recently, I had a run of several weeks during which I was happy with neither my profit nor my play. I talked with some friends and all had the same advice: drop down, play a lower limit, and tweak your game. I agreed it was a good idea.
Prior to dropping down, I had been playing in short-handed high-stakes games (high-stakes for me, anyway) and some of the players were quite good. I found that, in order to beat those games, I had to really mix up my play. I had to be willing to play the top, middle, and bottom of the deck and make some tough calls. Successful bluffs often required large bets on multiple streets.
When I dropped down, reads were far, far easier, as the players were wonderfully predictable. I was destroying the weaker competition. The most interesting part of the experience was seeing how these decent, intermediate players reacted to me. In chat windows they wrote all kinds of amazing things. They called me a donkey or a fish – usually after I took their money. At times, though, their insults got more specific. As they enumerated my shortcomings in chat windows, they provided me with detailed blueprints of their games. They told me how I could beat them.
What follows are some of the quips opponents typed in chat windows of various mid-stakes games I played in. I’ve also included my interpretation of their laments.
| HE SAID | I HEARD |
| "You are horrible." | "I have no idea what you're doing. I have a limited imagination and a meager intellect. These deficits keep me from analyzing your play in a critical and thorough manner." |
| "Keep playing that crap and I will bust you." | "I'll keep treating ace-king like it's the immortal nuts, even after you make your straight. I really don't know what else to do." |
| "Go read a book." | "I religiously apply my book learnin'." |
| "I will bust you." | "I am tilting." |
| "How could you call that bet?" [rev.1] | "My bluffs are ridiculously obvious." |
| "How could you call that bet?" [rev. 2] | "I will continue to pay off like a slot machine when you hit." |
| "How could you call that bet? [rev. 3] | "I'm tilting my head off." |
| "You raise with that?" | "Stop confusing me. I'm very confused and am developing a headache." |
| "I will wait you out." | "Keep whittling away at my stack. I'll fight back when I have the nuts. When I move in, you'll call me… right? I mean… please?" |
| "I can't find a hand." | "I can't play without a hand." |
| "You suck." [rev 1.] | "I'm gonna cry." |
| "You suck." [rev 2.] | "Please leave." |
| "You suck." [rev. 3] | "Now I'm crying. Are you proud of yourself?" |
| "Let's play heads up!" | "I'd like to give you my money!" |
|
"F*** you" |
"F*** you." |
