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It’s just after 10:00 on a Saturday night. You’re a couple hours, four beers, and ten wings into your weekly tournament, and you’re feeling fine. You’re smoking the table, and you’ve just flopped a flush draw. You’re watching the dealer, tallying your opponents’ tells, and flat-out salivating over all the chips you’re about to rake in.
And then the back door busts open, a guy bursts in and shoves a gun in your face, and suddenly that turn card doesn’t seem so important anymore.
Think it couldn’t happen to you? Think again. As home poker games – legal and illegal – explode in popularity, they become ever-more-enticing targets for robbers. It’s impossible to chart how many such robberies are taking place – many of these crimes go unreported, since the poker game in question is often illegal or quasi-legal in the first place – but the crimes are real; they’re happening, and even weekend poker players need to be aware of the possibility that they’ll be relieved of their cash by someone who refuses to ante up.
The poker game robbery phenomenon isn’t really a surprise – cash always draws interest; the more poker games there are in a given city, the more targets there are for enterprising (or desperate) robbers. The cash isn’t necessarily the driving force behind robberies – the naiveté and low security are. The vast majority of home poker players generally don’t have any more connection to the criminal underworld than watching Law & Order. Combine that with the fact that a player’s guard is down while his or her attention is focused on the paint and aces, and you’re looking at an all-night buffet for robbers.
According to the FBI’s most recent statistics, 401,326 robberies were committed in 2004 – a rate of about 137 per 100,000 people. Home robberies – the fastest-growing class of robberies, up 29 percent since 2000 – make up about 14 percent of the total robberies reported. Recent poker-related incidents include the following:
In 2004, two armed robbers swiped more than $15,000 from eight players in a poker game in Huntington, WV.
A string of game robberies took place in Austin, Texas from late 2004 through 2005; earlier this year, an illegal poker room was held up in Dallas, fueling anti-poker zealots’ crusade to get illegal games kicked out of Texas.
Licking County, OH has suffered several robberies, including one in which the robbers held up a local Lions Club and made off with three grand.
In Manassas, VA, two gunmen robbed a $500 buy-in poker game earlier this year. And last November, gunmen grabbed $5,000, along with watches, keys, and cell phones, from a Hold’em game in nearby Fairfax, VA; that game’s organizers suspect the robbers learned about the tournament from an online invitation service.
Poker robbers’ M.O. tends to be the same in most instances – bust in, flash some weaponry, grab the cash, and get gone before the flop. (Sign of an amateur robber: he goes for the chips.) Sometimes robbers will bind the players’ hands or force the players to strip; it’s rare for the robbery to escalate into violence ,since most players are wise enough to surrender the cash in order to get the thieves back out the door.
The fact that home games are illegal in many states gives the criminals an added advantage – many of the victims can’t run to the cops and file a complaint without in effect admitting to a crime themselves. For instance, when Atlanta police investigated a report of a robbery in February, they found that the apartment that had hosted the “casual” poker game was a de facto casino, filled with nothing but poker tables.
Which brings up an important distinction: the difference between a true neighborhood poker game and an underground high-stakes affair. One more reason not to try to take on your town’s Teddy KGB: You might end up in the crossfire of a vendetta. “The most violent poker robberies here have involved Asian gambling rings,” says Cpl. Darren Moloney, public information officer for the Gwinnett County (GA) Police Department. “This is serious money; these are highly illegal games. And they’re often robbed when somebody loses big money and decides to come and try to get it back.”
Old-school gamblers will tell you that poker game robbery isn’t exactly a new development. Back in poker’s hardscrabble days – pre- ESPN – robbery was pretty much an occupational hazard, and gamblers sat down at every table knowing there was an outside chance they’d get rolled before the night was done. Gamblers would keep two separate boodles – tightly bound rolls of money – in expectation of a robbery: one small one to give up, another larger one to toss behind a fridge when trouble showed up.
So when trouble comes knocking at – or, more likely, kicks in – your door, how can you keep your game from becoming a scene out of a Tarantino flick? What can you do to minimize your chances of getting robbed – and maximize your chances of seeing another game if you become a victim? Police recommend the following strategies:
Keep it simple, stupid. The easiest way to keep yourself safe is to know who you’re sharing a table with. If you’ve got a regular crew of a dozen buddies, odds are good you won’t have one of them get so pissed at a loss that he comes back and robs the joint – or tips off people who would.
It’s also likely you won’t draw the attention of the cops if you’re just a bunch of pals in a private game. “Virginia’s rules are very simple,” says Ofc. Richard Henry of the Fairfax County (VA) Police Department. “If you have to pay to get in, if the house is skimming off the winnings, that’s when we start to take notice.” (Other states have more stringent policies; check out the January 2006 issue of Bluff for a full examination of the topic.)
Don’t advertise. If you do decide to expand your game, don’t be an idiot. Poker is popular enough these days that you can find schools of fish everywhere you look. Everybody knows a friend of a friend who’s looking to get in a game. And for the love of Pete, don’t go advertising your $100 buy-in game on the internet – you’re basically MapQuesting a path to your door for would-be robbers.
Be careful with the security. Remember those poker-game episodes of the Sopranos? All around the margins of the table, they had heavies packing heat to discourage all but the dumbest criminals from cutting in on the action. While it’s tempting to think about bringing in your own muscle, be extremely careful. “If it’s a legal enterprise, it’s certainly permissible to hire security, as long as you follow proper procedure,” says Henry. However, “proper procedure” would not include collecting cash from your players to pay for security or stationing your gun-toting brother-in-law at the door; you could be in for a world of law-enforcement hurt if the cops show up or – heaven forbid – gunplay ensues.
Give it up. Your money isn’t worth your life. If you’re facing the business end of a gun, law enforcement professionals recommend you don’t try to cowboy up; just surrender the cash. In many cases, fighting back against an armed gunman can escalate a bad situation into a tragic one very quickly. Police recommend that you try to remember anything distinctive about the robbers – and be sure to warn them of any potential surprises, like your trigger-happy cousin arriving back home after the beer run.
“Every situation is different,” says Sgt. Kevin Iosty of the City of Atlanta Police Department. “I’ve seen situations where people give the robbers what they want and still get shot. I’ve seen situations where people can talk their way out of getting robbed. But in most cases, if somebody’s pointing a gun at me, I’m apt to give them what they’re asking for.”
In short, anybody who’s smart enough to win a nickel at poker is smart enough to prepare and react adequately should a worst-case scenario occur. Keep your head, and you’ll be around for another hand.
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