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Yes,
it’s almost that time of year once again to buy
me stuff. Don’t worry about your spouse, or your
boss, or any other person who is anticipating your goodwill.
It’s me you want to please, ain’t it? It’s
me you want to give to. Why? Because we have one thing
in common; one fundamental commonality that unites us
as one and creates a certain brotherhood. I don’t
have to spell this out, do I?
Poker is what it’s all about, at least for as
long as it takes you to read this. And if there is a
computer nearby, you may want to crank this up while
you read, (and I’m making the assumption that
you have an internet connection). While you’re
waiting for your computer to boot up, please continue
to read. If you’re just sitting there with no
internet access – continue to read anyway. You
wouldn’t want to miss out on any jovial jocularities,
would you? And besides being a pretty funny guy, I provide
the occasional poker tip or trick.
And sometimes I provide observations such as –
if poker is such a cool past time, why are so many of
us still playing the game on the kitchen or dining room
table? Where is our poker “lair”? Now, I
can understand that some people have limited space in
their homes – but for those loyal to the game,
space is relative. Most dining room tables are about
the size of a standard poker table and could easily
be replaced. Hell, send the family out into the living
room with their meals. Isn’t this why they invented
TV dinners? It’s time you put your foot down and
be like a man (if you are a man) and demand your rights
to a poker lair. If you are a woman, you probably have
everyone on a tight leash and can do what you want anyway.
So just do it. Replace the dining room table with one
of these beauties from “Diamond Tables of Las
Vegas”(http://www.diamondtablesoflasvegas.com).
These are handmade Texas Hold’em tables and “each
table is totally custom designed from only high quality
materials and expert craftsmanship.” Running at
a steep $19,000, they are truly beautiful and would
surely pay for themselves by mesmerizing your player
buddies; they’ll be too busy rubbing their hands
on the smooth mahogany finish instead of playing a decent
hand of poker. But if not, so what? You’ll have
a damn pretty table anyway.
Now for some ambiance; since you’ve already alienated
your family by banishing them from the dining room (do
not eat on poker tables unless it’s chips, nuts,
or other snacks), it is time to create a “winning
at poker” atmosphere. Lighting is crucial, and
no serious poker room should be without a bit of neon.
Casino Fashions has what you need (http://www.casinofashions.com).
They have a very cool selection of neon signs, and my
choice pick is the “Bada Bing!” girlie-light
straight from the Sopranos. This I covet. Or even the
“Casino Four Aces” will suffice. These are
strikingly cheesy but sublime. I want one.
I met Cyndie, the nice lady who runs CasinoFashions.com
at the Global Gaming Exposition in September in Las
Vegas, and I was really pleased at the amount of poker
paraphernalia she had on display at her booth. All of
this is available online at her website store. She even
has regular auctions at Ebay.com as well. Need some
“Gambler Body Detergent” or “Money
Laundering Bar Soap”? She’s got it –
check her site out!
One last spot before I let you go. How about some vintage
chips? OldVegasChips.com has what you are looking for
(http://www.old vegaschips.com). This modest website
run by Las Vegas locals Pete and Chantal Rizzo, has
a large collection of poker chips from chillin’
places like the Dunes and the Old Flamingo. They ship
internationally, so you can buy me stuff there as well.
So it’s either me, you, or someone anticipating
a gift or two that can be pleased by possible choices
made at the above sites. And if you’re going to
kick the family out of the dining room (or out of the
house for that matter), you might as well do it in style.
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