Buffalo Joe

Nothing like Buffalo, NY in the middle of January. Yup, you heard me right. I spent one week of January there, and I have to tell you I had a BLAST! And I owe it all to a kid named Joe – Buffalo Joe, that is.

I was there for a poker tournament at the new hotel casino in Seneca, about 20 minutes outside of Buffalo and 5 minutes from the Canadian border. This tournament was hosted by none other than Linda Johnson and the man himself, Matt Savage. The buy-in was 5k and the field was rather juicy.

My friend Tony Licari and I had arrived that morning. We were supposed to arrive the day before, but we showed up at the airport only to learn that the airline had given away our first class seats to someone else and was offering us two MIDDLE coach seats to Buffalo, we decided to spend the night in Vegas and fly the next day. We were at the airport 50 minutes before our DOMESTIC flight and they gave away our seats and offered NO compensation whatsoever! Two middle coach or two first class the next day? It was a no-brainer.

Walking out of the airport at 5a.m. in Buffalo was an experience all in itself. The crispness of the air just gets you. Cold, yet refreshing. It was rather soothing, believe it or not. Cold – yes – but an enjoyable cold.

After checking in, I had to take a disco nap. I decided I would pull a Phil Hellmuth on this one and show up late. I needed to rest. I arrived to play about an hour in, only to find myself on the sidelines not soon after. I REALLY want to tell you my bad beat story, but seeing as I have not told a bad beat story in over five years, I’m not going to start today.

OK, that was fun. I flew all the way to Buffalo, I sat down, and within 30 minutes, busted out. Now what? I didn’t know anybody in this town. My friend Tony was a going-out animal and I knew he would kill me if I just sat around playing poker all day and night. I decided to fix my pain with some food. I asked the waitress for a menu and ordered myself a little steak and eggs. Twenty minutes later, my food arrived. It was being pushed on a cart by some kid who wouldn’t stop smiling. “What’s wrong with this kid?” I thought. “Why the constant giggles?”

The kid’s name was Joe, and right away I liked his energy. I asked him what there was to do in town and he wasted no time in telling me not to worry; he would take care of everything! Why not, I thought. I told him he was in charge of the night and to show me what he was made of. I could tell he wanted to impress, so I was pretty sure he was going to show us a good time.

We got a couple of limos from the casino and we were on our way! Somehow, our party of three had grown to fifteen. Well, the more the merrier.

We went to downtown Buffalo. I had been told that the best bar in town was a place called The Soho and I was happy to learn that is exactly where Joe was taking us. I asked Joe if they had bottle service. “What’s that?” he asked. I took that as a no.

The owner of The Soho was a guy named Frank. Luckily for me, he happened to be a poker player. This place was jamming! To my surprise, there were quite a few cuties running around, and I decided it was time to turn Buffalo into Las Vegas. I took Frank in the corner and asked him for a favor.

Within ten minutes, not only did we have one of ONLY three tables in the bar, but we also had a bottle of Grey Goose, along with all the mixers, on our table. I think it might have been the VERY first time Buffalo had seen bottle service! The best part was wacking Matt Savage for $500 on the mere fact that we could get bottle service. He said no way and I said I’ll bet you $500, and that was that. Think about how many diapers you could have bought with that $500! (Matt is due to be a dad any day now.) Don’t worry, I won’t tell your lovely wife Maryann. I sure hope she doesn’t read Bluff! And if she does, I would like to ask her how in the world you hypnotized her into going out with you in the first place? (Matt is a dear friend, so I can get away with that).

It was so strange. People would walk by all night and be perplexed by the BOTTLE of vodka on the table. Tony was loving it. He would go up to girls and ask them to join us at our table for a drink, and they just wouldn’t understand until they saw it with their own eyes! It was the funniest thing. Thank you, Frank!

My man Lee from the casino suggested that one night we must hit the strip clubs in Canada. Why not, right? I heard some crazy things about these clubs and was rather curious to check them out for myself. After all, nothing is better than first hand experience, right? We had been to Canada earlier in the day so that we could check out Niagara Falls. It was well worth it. What an amazing site – so beautiful, yet so incredibly powerful. You could feel the energy of the water. It was breathtaking.

By the way, they weren’t kidding about the strip clubs! Wow. I’ve been to a lot of different strip clubs in my time, but nothing compared to this! I can’t really go into too much detail, but I will tell you they’re DEFINITELY worth a visit!

Phil Laak was in town, but he didn’t get to join us in our adventures due to his success in the tournament. He made it to the final table and, with nine people left, he was chip leader with 190k in chips; second place had 80k, 9th place had 7k. You would think he would be a favorite to win this one, or at least get in the top three, right? I have to heckle Phil a bit on this one. Did someone say “Unabomber” or was it the CHERRYBOMBER?

I think Joe hung out with us every day we were there. We had a great time and he became pretty good friends with Tony and me. On our last night, Joe, Tony, and Crystal (Joe’s very sweet girlfriend) came back from a night out. I had stayed in and played cards all night. We were hanging out in the room, when I made Joe an offer he could not refuse.

I offered to buy him a ticket to Las Vegas. He was stoked until I told him there was a catch: “You have to come back with us. We’re leaving in about seven hours and it’s now or never!” He thought I was nuts. I said, “Come on, kid. How often you get a chance like this to go to VEGAS?”

Tony didn’t help the situation by telling him he’d be crazy not to say yes. How often does somebody receive a free chance to go to Vegas? The kid was confused. He kept saying that if he didn’t come, he would kick himself in the head for the rest of his life. “I just can’t pick up and go to Vegas! But I can’t say no, either!”

The next day, the three of us flew to Vegas. It was so much fun. Joe was 21-years-old, a big poker fan, and was now coming to Vegas with us. That first night, we showed him a world he didn’t know existed. I’ll never forget being at the club, when he said to me, “I now KNOW what bottle service is. I understand. I have seen the light and I LIKE it.”

Joe was a big hit in the West. People loved the idea that we kidnapped the kid and took him under our wing. And how can you not love him? He NEVER stops smiling! That was why I took a liking to him in the beginning. That was, until I saw a very disturbing sight. I actually saw Joe using his phone to take a picture of Phil Hellmuth. I know, I know; so sad. The kid is a lost cause. What can I say? He never heard the end of that one!

Our trip to Buffalo was great, and I would like to thank Penny and Angela from the casino for taking such good care of us.

You can play poker with Antonio at Ultimatebet.com. Also, check out two new products that he’s endorsing: funenergyfoods.com and magicalpoker.net.