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Past Madsen: Gee whiz! Jeff Madsen! Great to meet you… I’m a big fan of all your accomplishments! You are a poker god.
Present Madsen: Dude, shut the *%&# up. We are the same person. Just because I did well at the WSOP doesn’t mean I’m different or think I’m some sort of “celebrity.”
Past Madsen: Oh. True. It just seems like you are in such an ideal place compared to me… you get to travel around and do what you love to do. Plus, I’m freakin’ broke. I have to ask my parents for money to play in the World Series.
Present Madsen: One thing I’ve learned is that you definitely have to appreciate your situation no matter what, especially the situation I’m in. If I run bad for a while or make bad decisions with my money or my lifestyle, I could end up back home flippin’ burgers, trying to scrape a stake together for a 1-2 limit game.
Past Madsen: Okay then, Mr. Motivational Speaker, what do you recommend for a broke college kid like me who thinks he can make it in the poker world? It’s easy to say “appreciate your situation” when you have bracelets, but what about us nobodies who keep goin’ broke?
Present Madsen: The point is that I was in your same situation. I was pretty much broke most of my years playing poker at the nearby Indian casino. But I felt I was a good player. I read a lot of books, watched a lot of poker on television, and played as many tournaments as I could. Finally, I got the confidence to actually take a shot at the professional circuit.
Past Madsen: Right. I know I can do well at the World Series... But I mean, c’mon, four final tables? You’re a big freaking luckbox.
Present Madsen: I think that’s what the players who haven’t made a legitimate commitment to playing professionally say when anybody, especially a young guy, does well in tournaments. Of course I ran pretty well… but I’m a believer in creating your own luck. Take that for what you will.
Past Madsen: So I guess I have a shot then. If you can do it, maybe I can do it! Umm… so what has been your biggest accomplishment since your luckbox run in July?
Present Madsen: Poker-wise? Probably finishing two places out of the TV table at the WPT event in San Jose.
Past Madsen: What about your biggest disappointment?
Present Madsen: Pokerwise? Probably finishing two places out of the TV table at the WPT event in San Jose. Hmm, weird how it works like that.
Past Madsen: How about outside of poker? What’s the dilly?
Present Madsen: I’ve actually had to make some responsible, grownup decisions. The last year has been all about money management for me so I don’t go busto. Also, I decided to buy a house in Vegas, which should be ready in time for the upcoming WSOP. When it comes to people, I’ve met countless unique individuals, some who I don’t care for, others who are already my close friends. I’ve also traveled more in the last year than in my entire life put together.
Past Madsen: Any luck with the ladies?
Present Madsen: When I was your age, I was drawing dead. Now I’d say I’ve got my chips in with the straight-flush draw.
Past Madsen: Nice hand, sir. No more internet porn in my future. Anyway, what advice can you give me coming into my first professional poker tournament?
Present Madsen: Don’t be intimidated. Have confidence in your game. Focus and pay attention to all the players at the table, especially the pros. Use any information you have learned about them to your advantage. Also, be disciplined. That’s something I’ve been shaky with lately: discipline.
Past Madsen: Cool. I’ll give it a shot. Even though I’m confident, there is still the fear in the back of my mind that I might play poorly at the WSOP, not cash at all, and run home crying to Mommy. What’s your biggest fear?
Present Madsen: That I might play poorly at the WSOP, not cash at all, and run home crying to Mommy. But poker is about overcoming your fears, right?
Past Madsen: I guess things don’t always change as much as we think.
Future Madsen: (Whooping cough) You guys are both a bunch of donkeyfishes if you ask me (cackles).
Past Madsen: Excuse me; I’m conducting an interview here with the great Jeff Madsen. Who the hell are you?
Future Madsen: I’m him — five years in the fuuuutuuure. Ooooooh. Anyways, I’m only interrupting to tell you losers to give up poker (hacking cough) forever.
Present Madsen: And why would we want to do that? We both have a bright future.
Future Madsen: HA! Look at me! I mean… you. I mean… me. I didn’t cash in the WSOP five years in a row, so I gave up and turned to hookers and blow… and some other stuff. Anyway (sniffles), just giving the heads-up.
Present Madsen: Gee, thanks.
Past Madsen: Tool.
Future Madsen: What was that!?
Past Madsen: Nothing.
Present Madsen: I’m not really gonna end up like that, am I?
Past Madsen: C’mon, Jeff. Have you learned anything yet? I think the whole point of this interview in the first place was for us to realize: You have to remember your past in order to create your future. And all that starts RIGHT NOW in the present.
Present Madsen: Whoa. Deep. ‘K, gonna go hit the tables. Later, Bro’.
Future Madsen: Freakin’ losers! (Cough…heart murmurs…death.)
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