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es gentlemen, you heard it right. Phil ‘the Unabomber’ Laak and myself were invited to the Playboy Mansion for the Halloween party. Hmmmm.
Started playing $2/$4 Hold’em five years ago and now I’m being invited to hang with the celebs at the Playboy Mansion. What the heck is going on here? Hugh Hefner wants me at his party? Thank you, Steve Lipscomb.
First things first: not any old Joe Schmo can attend. You have to be on
the list, and that in itself is no easy task. How does one go about getting on the list, you ask? Well, you can either become a famous billionaire or become friends with one. And yes, that’s ‘billionaire’ with a ‘b’. A few
‘mil’ will not buy your way into this party, my friend.
It’s Halloween, and I’m dressed as a pimp. Bright shiny red pants. Openchested, shiny white shirt. Matching shiny red beanie-type hat. Dazzling black scarf. Bling-bling necklace and belt – I’m pimpin’ it. ‘Unabomber’ is a Shaggy-like used-car salesman from the Sixties, looking very hippie. My good friend Adam is a garbage can. Yes, a garbage can. But not just any garbage can – the garbage can! Adam is
a white boy in good shape so he can pull this costume off very well. He has the trashcan around his body with the lid somehow jimmy-rigged on top of his head. You got it. – he’s ‘White Trash’.
We entered the party with high expectations, which were not only exceeded; they were escorted to firstclass, offered a glass of champagne, and then nailed the stewardess. We thought we were getting pocket Aces; instead we got dealt two Jokers. No word in the English language can accurately describe what I saw when I set foot in the mansion. ‘Heavenly’ would come close, but just wouldn’t do it justice.
I can honestly say that for every guy there were five girls. Yes boys –
five to one! How do you like them apples? I could not believe my eyes. Girls everywhere! And not just regular girls; total hotties! Every girl was at least a ‘nine’. Never in my life have I witnessed such a plethora of beautiful women, all dressed in skimpy costumes.
Phil and I were escorted over to Hugh Hefner’s table for a little ‘intro’
action. Hugh was sitting at a table with eight or nine of the sexiest females I have ever seen in my whole life. And they were all his girlfriends. It was a sight to see – just hanging out wearing his PJ’s. Our introducer, Rob, whispers in Hef’s ear for about six seconds, and, beckoned us over with a small hand gesture, we proceed to say hello and shake hands with the man himself. Hugh Hefner - a living legend, and the guy every man wants to be.
So here I am, twenty-five years old, hanging out with Hugh, just shootin’ the shit. Hugh is a longtime backgammon player and hardly plays any poker. While he’s telling me he’s not much of a poker player, I jokingly suggest we get a dealer and play some cards! He loved it. We were laughing and joking and having a good old time. We took a few pictures with Hef for the record, and off Phil and I went. We didn’t want to keep him from his genetically perfect 23- year-old girlfriends for too long.
Throughout the night my friend Adam got more attention than just about anybody else there. After a few drinks, he decided his costume would be more intriguing if he wore no shorts underneath his garbage can. It worked. The second his shorts came off, the word started to spread. The thing is, in order to see the family jewels, you had to get near him and look over the tip of the garbage can. Girls would come up out of nowhere trying to sneak a peek. I was in awe of the attention he was getting. It was awesome!
This party would have been an Emmy winner if it had been on TV. It was filled with celebrities, movie stars, superstar athletes, famous musicians, Hollywood producers, directors, lots of playboy bunnies - and at the bottom of the food chain, a couple of degenerate poker players. My favorite part of the night was when I witnessed a mega-celebrity, who will remain nameless, going from girl to girl on the dance floor trying to get his groove on. This guy was wearing a mask which completely hid his identity. Girls would push this crazy masked dancer away over and over again, with no idea who they were blowing-off. It was beautiful. I guarantee if they knew who was under there they would have gone crazy! If I was famous at that level, Halloween would be my favorite day of the year too. More power to you, my friend!
Poker has come a long way. It’s the hottest sport around, and it’s all over television. Everyone is playing. Whether you are at home in your
underwear playing on the internet, or over at a buddy’s house, or in a casino, you are playing America’s number one game. I love being a poker player. It has given me a life beyond my wildest dreams. Poker took us to the Playboy Mansion – I wonder what’s next?
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