It's been awhile since my last update.  To be honest, there hasn't been a ton going on in my life.  However, I'm on the verge of making a major life decision.  I'll get to that in a second.

As I've reported, I'm currently on a major downswing.  It's been this way since Febuary.  Through running worse then I have in my entire life -- it's like I can't even win a single hand anymore -- I quickly lost the urge to play anymore.  Anyone who looks at my poker db would see how I've dramatically slashed my volume in the last few months.  Lately, I'm lucky if I find the mojo to play 2-3 days PER MONTH.  Yes, it's been that bad, it's getting worse, and there's no end in sight.

So what have I been doing?  I went to Vegas earlier this month.  I played a $1500 NL event at the WSOP.  I lasted like 10 hours before losing a race (I can't even remember the last time I won a flip, seriously).  A few days later, a few friends and I were bored so we decided to screw around in a $100 nightly tournament at Caesars.  It only got like 55 entries, but I did get lucky and win it.  OK, not the biggest win in the world but I was hoping it would be a sign of things turning around (as it turns out, this is my only cash -- online or live -- since May 21st).  So the next day I played the $1500 6 max tourney at the WSOP.  4 hands (4 hands!) later, I was back in my room wondering where it all went wrong. 

I came home and pretty much have done absolutely nothing for the last 3 weeks.  Last Sunday, I played the 5k tourney at Borgata.  It gave 50k in chips w/ 50 minute levels.  Despite my recent bad luck, I was very excited going into the tourney and was probably feeling better about a tournament then I had in a long time.  However, it wouldn't take too long to suck the life back out of me.  I ran KK into AA to lose half my stack, and then proceeded to literally not win a single pot from the 100/200 level to the 300/600 level.  Everytime I bet, I would get raised.  Everytime I hit a pair, I would be shown a bigger pair.  Everytime I missed and bet, I got raised by the biggest nits on the table.  I finally connected with a flop when my AQ hit an A45 board, only to be raised for the 736th time.  I had just bled down too much and couldn't take folding anymore, so I stuck it in and obv got shown AK.  50k in chips and I still couldn't make it to dinner break.  Absolutely pitts.

So for the last month, I've usually been sleeping 12 hours a day and then watching TV the rest of it.  Needless to say, I've been very depressed.  I've lost a ton of money, all my patience, confidence, and my competitive spirit.  I've really come to doubt if I could do this anymore.  I also feel very lonely and isolated.  I've been absolutely miserable and the time has come for a change.  I have 3 real options for after the WSOP main event next week:

Option 1: go back to school.  The problem with this is, as unhappy as I am now, I was even more unhappy back in school.  I'm pretty much the stereotypical online player: anti-social, isolated, cut off from the world, bad with dealing with people.  Back in college, I was this way and was miserable.  Furthermore, my work ethic is terrible and I'm beyond lazy when it comes to doing the required work that is necessary in going back to school.  Perhaps going back to community school would be an option but I'm just not sure I can make it work, both socially nor academically.  Going back to school would also prevent me from being able to travel anymore.

Option 2: get a part-time job.  Back in high school, I worked at a Starbucks for 2 years.  Now I wouldn't say it was the greatest experience of my life.  My greatest memory will always be becoming good friends with a female co-worker of mine, falling in love with her, taking her to my senior prom, only to have my heart broken by her just before I left for college.  I also did not get along with my boss and was suspended for snapping on her, before I quit.  The job did pay decently though, and it would be nice to have a source of income (as small as it would be) again.  It would also fill up about 20-30 hours a week and allow me a chance to be more social and perhaps strike up some new relationships, which is something I desperately need right now.  It would also allow me to be able to continue traveling to live events, which going back to school would not allow me to do.

The other option would be to keep up with what I've been doing (maybe mixing in a little more live play).  To counteract my unwillingness to play long sessions and deal with the variance of tournaments anymore, I can mix in a few hours of cash games per week (I used to be a very successful 5/10 player before I became primarily a tournament player.  Games are tougher now, though, so despite a healthy bankroll, I'd probably just stick to 2/4 NL.).  There is some degree of comfort with this lifestyle that I discussed right now, even if it has made me depressed.  The downside is that I would remain isolated and antisocial, which could be fixed by taking classes or getting a job.  I could also seek new ways to fill some time, such as re-joining the gym or doing some volunteer work.

Regardless of what I choose to do, I will likely be taking a nice sized break after the WSOP ME.  To be honest, I probably shouldn't even be playing a 10k buyin right now.  However, I am very lucky to be close friends with Annette Obrestad, who has put enough confidence in me to front me the buyin. I've known Annette for 2 years now and she's always been like a little sister to me.  So thank you, Annette, I'll try not to let you down next week.

If you have any advice or an opinion on my current situation, I ask that you please shoot me an email at jslaso@gmail.com.  I'm open to hear just about anything right now, as I'm on the verge of this huge life decision.  Take care.

--Jason